Senses

A teammate called me via Microsoft Teams regarding a question about a student. After answering her questions, we started talking. We shared a few laughs and joked around. She talked about her upcoming time off in August just in case we needed to follow up with each other...and suddenly, she started crying. I paused to confirm that she was crying. We weren't sharing videos. In fact, I was working with my house frock, no earrings, and ruffled hair. Yet I stared at the screen as if I could verify if she was crying. All I saw was her profile pic in the middle of my black screen. I closed my eyes, so I could hear clearly.

She was finally taking time off to grieve losing her husband last year. I faintly remember some correspondence that went out. I tried my hardest to comfort her through my headset. If she was 3 feet away, she would be comforted with a hug, as I told her.  Instead, she is hundreds of miles away physically and millions of gigabps away virtually. I told her she needed to grieve in a way she would only understand. She told me that it just felt good to be able to cry. She's a widow with sons. In her attempt to be a strong mother for her kids, she wasn't there for herself. Her virtual work friends were all guys in different states who lacked sister-girl empathy. I said well, anytime you need to talk, cry, vent --whatever; you can contact me. We ended our conversation, and I went about my way. 

I've never met her in person. I've only spoken to her four times during my two-year-plus tenure at my job via Microsoft Teams or emails. In fact, throw in one or two chat interactions to the list. I used her profile picture to paint a picture of how I thought she was in her moment of transparency. That picture was for me to understand her more in an attempt to dissect her. I often study people, but it's easier to study people with a sense of vision. I had to lean to my hearing and let the empath in me take over.

I felt blessed to be available in her time of need. I felt blessed that although I wasn't able to touch her physically or see her---- my ears worked enough to activate my heart to grieve with her momentarily. I felt blessed because my light shined enough in a realm for this woman who had never met me to feel vulnerable enough to have a moment. I finally realized that my affiliation does not dictate my identity. I felt blessed to know that the light within that I felt was dim, illuminates bright enough today. I felt blessed to be a vessel.

Life leaves me in awe at times. I've always seemed to meet strangers who will just walk up to me and open up. I'd like to point out things that should be discussed with a licensed counselor. I'm still working on my facial expression to obey my calling. I used to run from it by being available to everyone instead of the right ones; those subtle inboxes, people waiting in line and we initiate a conversation, those people who witness the same things I saw, or someone holding the door for me. Most importantly, those whose reciprocity matches my level. Your light must shine as bright as mine to light up people, places, and things together. Be you in this world. Be available for the right people. Use your senses, most importantly, common sense. Oftentimes I find myself in places where I don't know anyone. But then again, there ain't never a stranger I've met that I didn't feel as if I didn't know. I'm writing this in my office as I sit in the dark. 

 

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