We do what we have to when we have to

Today I packed up and checked out my baby from her freshman dormitory. My girl finished her first year of college and our GPA is looking real 3.7 ish...I will take it. She defied the odds and wasn't another negative statistic in the African American community. As I was waiting on my personal barista to take her Calculus Final, I  noticed  I was sharing the space with other mothers in this parking lot, who were waiting on their children as well. 

I woke up this morning and logged in to work. Cleaned out the truck of the first batch of items from her dorm that were in my truck since Sunday. I ignored Keith's offer of help and simply replied I got it. I didn't get it until this morning. Saying to myself, girl you dumb. I made my way to Orangeburg, and to my baby. Her roommate had left. The chaos was on the right side of the room. I took a few bites of my sandwich that  I stopped to get. I was hungry, but when I talked to Kailee, she mentioned that she didn't eat. Somehow, my hunger was irrelevant. My determination was to make sure, my daughter ate to be prepared for her final at 3:30 pm. I started packing the truck, taking the heaviest, bulkiest items first. As we were almost done, she got an email from her instructor stating that she could take the final early. I kicked it into overtime. We were done within 15 minutes and I reassured her to take her time with her final, I was going to sit in the truck or peruse the big City of Orangeburg as she took her final.

 I met a mother who was walking around campus with her baby in his cap and gown. My congratulatory words to both mother and child were highly reciprocated with words of thanks and that "my baby did it look." I spoke with another mother in which I could see the frustration on her face. Sis told me that she lived in Spartanburg. She works overnight. She worked a 10-hour last night and got off at 2 am. She took a nap, dropped the other children off, and headed her. She said she had to go to work tonight. Which entailed driving back to Spartanburg. Her frustration was that she had to go to work tonight and her daughter still hadn't packed everything and her space was almost gone in her SUV. The plan was to toss what couldn't fit. We chatted and encouraged each other. I met her there, but I left her there. I pray traveling mercies for my sister and a smooth night at work.

I saw a lot of Mamas today, only a few dads. They were driving the vehicles, hauling stuff out, etc..etc..

It made me think of the responsibilities that we have as mothers. From a single mother's perspective, it's rarely a time you can say no-- because we are all our children have in our minds. This mentality is usually that of protection. Not knowing what would hurt more; our, "No" or the disconnected parent's "No." The fact that we do what we have to when we have is often overshadowed by why we do it. The strength of a woman is often the "presumption" that we have to be strong, we must display perseverance and we must go on.

As we embark upon the Mother's Day Holiday, take a day ladies to celebrate your excellence, your uniqueness--celebrate you. Being a mother doesn't equate to giving birth physically, it's the mentality of caring for a child that isn't yours. Providing that motherly instinct when needed. The truth of the matter is I was a "mother" well before the day the doctors cut me on or about 1 pm on that Saturday, November 16, 2002. All those kids, I babysat, changed their diapers, and picked them up from school-- I may have been labeled "Auntie" but it added to my Mom resume.

Ladies, this is a note of appreciation, love, and unity for you. I know how it is. And by "it is" we can write an entire book series with several spinoffs. Hey Mama...hold your head up high. Take a deep breath and know that you got this. I know you are tired at times, frustrated, and torn between empathy and sympathy for the world. I wish you an early Happy Mother's Day. To those who are mourning your Mother, know that her greatness will remain an everlasting memory to you. She may not be here physically, but will always be with you spiritually. In fact, you see a new piece of her each day in you. I wrote this while I was in Orangeburg today and I am just now posting.

#agirlworthfightingfor

#webloggin

#Iwrites

#HappyMuddahsDay

https://www.agirlworthfightingfor.com/2022/05/we-do-what-we-have-to-when-we-have-to.html

Go For It

The last two nights we faced tremendous storms here in South Carolina. Accounts of power outages, severe weather--the weathermen indeed earned their coins.  In fact yesterday, in Moncks Corner, there was a tornado that was formed, but it didn't touch the ground.  Last night as I lay on the couch and listened to the "storm." There were moments when the lightning was so sharp and sounded as if it was about to hit home. There were moments when the thunder rumbled and the ground rattled. There were moments when the wind and rain fought over who would be the loudest and strongest. I at first was watching television, but the constant reminders of the storm and the warnings from the weathermen got tired. I turned it off. Not take the warnings in vain, but it seemed overwhelming. I just felt that it was overkill. I mean I know I was in the midst of a storm. Everyone knew what they personally were enduring and was dealing with it in their own way. I'm old school. Everything was off, except the hallway light. I had my cell phone in my hand, but when that loud crack of lightning hit, that phone got tossed on the couch. When the lightning or thunder would subside, I would pick up the phone again.  I was going against the Southern code. Knowing good and well, if my maternal grandmother was around, that phone would not have been anywhere in my vicinity  After a few strolls of Tik Tok and a couple of games of online spades, I eventually went to sleep after I felt the storm had reached its peak. I was used to the storm and thought I knew what to expect.

This morning, I awoke to the sun peeking through the blinds. I didn't look outside to see what it looked like. I just knew that the sun was confirmation of what was, and was no longer. That what the weathermen said was going to happen, didn't happen to me personally. If I didn't go through the "storm" these last two days, I wouldn't have necessarily known there was a storm. That there were tornadoes, power outages, flooding, or wind damage. I mean, I am sure there are signs of visible damage that's out there, that I haven't seen. Hopefully, power and internet have been restored to those who lost it. Hopefully, those who lost sleep the last two nights will gain it tonight. Hopefully, the damage is minimal for those who experienced it. Hopefully, those who lost peace because of the storms will find it. Today should serve as a reminder that "trouble doesn't last always." It should remind you of the many storms in life you weathered and survived.  I write this as I am sipping the last few drops of coffee in my "go for it" mug.  To whoever is reading this, the storm is over now. Assess your damages, begin your repairs and live as if nothing happened. Go For It. 

#GoForIt #AGirlWorthFightingFor

Scrambled

Over the past week, I began declaring openly the same prayer, mantra, or spell, as some may say. It started with "show me how much better it" and ended with "I am ready." Well, let me say from April 25th to May 1st- God, the Universe, My ancestors, and guardians have been shaking things up. My life has genuinely been scrambled.

In a normal state of mess, I would try my hardest to fix things and people. Over the past week, my mind, body, soul, and discernment urged me to let things be. It seems like, over the past week, my mindset has changed. My embracement of peace is so divine. I can't think of an eclectic way of explaining it. Some of it hurt, but the rest I am in love with.

My focus on things that were on the backburner has now been pulled to the front, and those things that I had been eyeing its completing cooking progression have directly been placed on the warming spot on the stove. I truly learned that no response is a response.

What was so crazy is that as I was cooking breakfast this morning, I had a revelation. I cooked a turkey and cheese omelet with some turkey sausage. The means of preparation for this meal took a lot to get the finished product. I first sautéed some chopped onions, bell peppers, and mushrooms. I usually tear a piece of wax paper and chop my veggies on my cutting board. After chopping my veggies and my turkey meat, the way wax paper was torn and soggy; I could no longer use it after a few flips. There was nothing unused that you could use.This confirmed that some things, some people, some places could no longer serve a purpose in my life because of their state, so I needed to discard them.

I tossed in 3 turkey sausage links as my veggies were sautéing. It didn't take long; I removed the sausage and placed it on a plate.

My next focus was to cook my eggs: my country, ghetto bougie self, only uses free-range brown eggs at this point in my life. I handled the eggs with delicacy. Knowing that the egg's shell is delicate, I have to crack it to get the desired content, but I have to make sure that it isn't exposed before being ready. Seeing the yokes of the eggs in the bowl reminded me of the delicate nature in which we have to handle life's situations. When we open up to specific people or see them for who they are, we don't know what's inside waiting to come out and when it does, how do we cook or handle it?

Finally, I completed the omelet by adding my remaining ingredients. Before I plated the omelet, I threw those three pieces of turkey sausage back on the burner. I needed to reheat it, I know it was warm, but I wanted it hot. This reminded me of revisiting things that I started in the past that I needed to finish while the fire was burning.

This meal was actually for Keith. I returned to the stove and decided that I wanted just a scrambled egg for myself. The frying pan was still greased with olive oil. The burner was still warm. I cracked the egg in the corner of the pan, where a nice pocket of oil was. I didn't turn it back on the burner. The egg cooked just fine without the extra heat and any other additions. Symbolic of often our need as humans to just let things be is evident. Everything that we need is there. The egg may not have cooked as fast as it would have, had I turned on the heat, but it cooked.

I write this as I take the last fork full of my scrambled egg. For those struggling with life, the conditions in which we conquer life don't matter. It's ultimately the finished product that does—prayers for your journey in life. I am ready for mine.

#agirlworthfightingfor #scrambled